conflicts of the mind
by HyperLarri
Summary: Just a random oneshot. Hitsugaya has been depressed over his failure of protecting Hinamori but will something from his past change the way he thinks? Plz read and review.


Disclaimer:

I do not own Bleach or any of its characters.

**Conflicts of the Mind:**

Underneath all the order and strict rules of soul society, there are hidden secrets that few people, namely the Captains and a select number of others, know about. At first glance, except for a few _ryoka_ intrusions, the inner core of Soul Society is a place that is controlled and run by the Captains of the Thirteen Squads but there are some things that even they can not completely stop. They are the Rogues. No one knows why they left and there are numerous reasons that make sense and then some that do not. However, when they return, it can be safely said that at their return, something will definitely happen and some people will be changed.

To recent knowledge, the most prominent rogues were ones that everyone in the Inner Core of Soul Society knew about. Every Shinigami knows of three names.

Former Captain of the Fifth Squad: Aizen Sousuke.

Former Captain of the Third Squad: Ichimaru Gin.

Former Captain of the Seventh Squad: Tousen Kaname.

Each of them were respected and then feared. However, they were not the only ones. Hidden deep from public knowledge, were also several deadly and dangerous Rogues.

---

Hitsugaya Toshirou, child prodigy and Captain of the Tenth Squad looked at the vast amount of paperwork in front of him and sighed.

_Why does Soul Society provide so much paperwork? _He thought to himself. _It's not like we do more than stand around and guard everything…even if we get attacked by _ryoka_ or something._

As he thought about the _ryoka_, he could not help remembering the three captains that went rogue. He remembers how he respected Aizen and even looked up to him. And Ichimaru Gin…Hitsugaya was the first one to fight him and in doing so, he endangered Hinamori, the one person he swore he would protect.

_Hinamori…_

Hitsugaya could not help but feel like he failed her. She looked up to Aizen, much more than anyone else. All she did as a Shinigami seemed to be as a result of her respect for him. When Hinamori turned her own Soul Slayer onto him, Hitsugaya felt that that hurt more than Soul Slayer ever could. Then, to make matters worse, it turns out that it was in fact Aizen who was behind all this. The moment where he found Hinamori lying in her own blood on the floor was flashing across his mind. The image of her dying was etched deeply into his mind. He barely felt it when Aizen defeated his _bankai_ with ease. The pain of watching Hinamori slowly losing her grip on life was worse, especially since he could not help.

---

Hours later, the Tenth Squad's Captain walked into the Fourth Squad's building, making his daily visits to Hinamori, as she was still in recovery. As he walked past low ranking Shinigami, they stopped and stared. Others whispered among themselves. Being a young Captain and a genius beyond the logic of his age, he was used to such attention and would usually have paid little mind. However, he sensed that the content of the whispering contained more than just the awe of amazement of such a young Captain. With a renewed sinking feeling in his heart, he realised that they were whispering about Hinamori as he walked into her room. He gazed at the sleeping girl before him and recalled times when they were younger and happier. He leant against the door, hoping against hope that she would wake-up and he can hear her voice again. He thought of how he swore to protect her and yet she was injured now. He bowed his head and two whispered words could be heard.

"I'm sorry…"

---

Nobody noticed as a dark, shadowy figured slipped behind one of the gate guardians and knocked him out. No one noticed as he somehow opened the heavy gates, using some kind of power that his Soul Slayer possessed. No one noticed as he disappeared in the shadows of the night and made his way silently through the streets of the Inner Core of Soul Society. The figure silently made his way past patrols, killing or knocking them out when necessary and then hiding their bodies. As he ran over rooftops, dodged between alleyways and used _Shunpo_ (flash steps) to navigate through the twists and turns, among the patrols, he slowly made his way to his destination. He stood on top of a wall, his figure framed against the moon. He was short, the size of a child. He smiled, as he looked upon the Fourth Squad's barracks from the shadows, the General Relief Station, and watched a familiar short, white-haired Captain just walking out. He drew his blade and used _Shunpo _again.

---

Hitsugaya stepped out of the General Relief Station, preparing to return to his own squad when his ears caught the sound of a light footstep in the shadows and he sensed a well-hidden _reiatsu_ (is that how they say Spirit Force?). He drew his Soul Slayer and brought it to his left side just in time to block a sword that came out of the shadows. The clanging of metal against metal rang across the deserted street and Hitsugaya leapt back from his attacker, his senses on full alert.

He stood up slowly, displaying the usual cocky attitude that people saw in him.

"Who are you?" he demanded.

"You've forgotten my name?" the figure said, as he walked into the light. "I'm hurt."

Hitsugaya's eyes widened as he recognised another face from his memories.

"R-Ryu," he gasped. "What are you doing here?"

Ryu smiled. He had spiky, black hair and a smiling pair of brown eyes.

"I came to see some old friends again. You haven't changed much. Neither has Hinamori. Although…" He hardened his gaze and his smile slid off his face. "…the last time I saw her, she wasn't lying in a hospital bed, clinging to life."

_Flashback:_

"_Hey! Shiro-chan! I can't believe you actually came to the Shinigami academy!" a smiling, younger Hinamori exclaimed._

_Hitsugaya, then in his first year at the Shinigami academy, turned around wearing a disgruntled expression as he heard that nickname again._

"_I told you to stop calling me Shiro-chan! It's Hitsugaya-kun! Hitsugaya-KUN!" _

_A vein was pulsing in his head as Hinamori came over to talk with his childhood friend. _

"_So…how was the entrance test you took?" _

"_Easy…"_

_Suddenly, Hitsugaya was hit from behind and he stumbled forward. He turned around, his eyes flashing, to find a rather timid looking boy, with black hair and brown eyes: Ryu, in his first year at the Shinigami._

"_E-excuse me…" _

"_Watch where you're going…" Hitsugaya growled._

"_S-sorry…"_

"_Shiro-chan…you're only in your first year and you're already so intimidating…"_

"_IT'S HITSUGAYA-KUN!" _

"_Anyway, what's your name?" Hinamori asked Ryu. _

"_Y-you can call me Ryu…" the boy stuttered. _

"_Oh…I'm Hinamori. This is Hitsugaya-KUN. There, happy now?" _

"_Yes…"_

"_Well, good luck, Ryu, Shiro-chan! See you!" Hinamori said, running off and laughing. _

"_IT'S HITSUGAYA-KUN!"_

_End flashback._

"Hinamori was a good friend…a nice person…one of the few remaining good people…" Ryu said.

"I know that," Hitsugaya countered.

"Yet…how could you let this happen to her?"

"…" Hitsugaya was reminded of how he let Hinamori become injured…how he promised to protect her and yet he failed.

"If you can't protect her, then step down and I will," Ryu said and charged forward.

Hitsugaya brought up his sword and rushed forward. Ryu flash-stepped and Hitsugaya followed him. They clashed swords again and again. Ryu leapt up and slashed down. Hitsugaya dodged the sword and let it fall down and it hit the pavement, cracking it. Hitsugaya stabbed forward and Ryu just twisted out of the way, before countering by bringing his sword up and slicing across, at Hitsugaya. Hitsugaya leapt up and unleashed his chain and it wrapped around Ryu's Soul Slayer. Ryu leapt back and shook his sword, releasing it from Hitsugaya's chain.

"You've gotten better…" Ryu said.

"I hope you know you're talking to one of the Captains of Soul Society…you will not escape."

"Perhaps its time to get serious…" Ryu said and he held out his Soul Slayer and raised his _reiatsu_.

"Fly, _Kazemaru_ (the name is totally made up and if it means anything in Japanese, then it was unintentional)!" he called out.

Instantly, his Soul Slayer changed shape and turned into a wide broad sword, very different to the Japanese katana. It was not curved but long and straight. It was twice as wide as a normal Soul Slayer and slightly longer. At the handle, where the blade stops, there were two arms guards that were shaped as the wings of a bird.

Ryu stepped forward and slashed downwards, ten metres away from Hitsugaya. A gust of air flew from the sword, flying straight towards Hitsugaya. He dodged to his right but as the gust swept past him, the outer winds cut his cheek. He reached up and found blood. He raised his eyes and they glowed.

"Fine…if that's how you want it…Set Upon the Frozen Heavens! _Hyrourinmaru_!"

A dragon made from _reiatsu_ sprung from Hitsugaya's Soul Slayer and charged towards Ryu. The ice and snow of the dragon sprang forward and Ryu just dodged before it engulfed the areas he was just standing. He moved to the right and charged again at Hitsugaya, brandishing Kazemaru. He leapt up into the air and then swung down with all his might. A concentrated form of air pressure created a blade and it flew at the Tenth Squad Captain. In response, he swung _Hyrourinmaru_ and the dragon of ice and snow erupted from his sword, smashing into the air wave.

The dragon coiled around and around Hitsugaya protectively and then, like a coiled spring, sprung forward, baring its fangs. Ryu met it head on, driving _Kazemaru_ into the dragon. The clash of both Soul Slayers rang through the empty street and the two retreated slightly, recovering from the attacks.

"Ryu, where have you been?" Hitsugaya asked. "All these years, disappearing without a word and now returning suddenly."

"I've…been wandering, Toshiro, wandering…" Ryu responded. "I've pondered why we fight…why we fight Hollows, why we fight each other and most of all, why we fight ourselves."

"…I haven't seen you in who knows how long and you return as a philosopher?" Hitsugaya asked, sweat-dropping. "Well, number 1, why we fight hollows: it's obvious, we're opposites and we can't exist when the other does. It's natural for us to fight them. Number 2, why we fight each other: we're all different, we think differently, we act differently and one way we cope with other differences I fighting. Number 3, why we fight ourselves…well…I can't think of anything for that but you didn't have to mysteriously disappear to think about those kind of thoughts."

Ryu laughed, despite the fact they were locked in combat and replied, "Well, I can fill you in on that last one. We fight ourselves because we all have our personal demons. Those of us that recognise our faults strive to remove them, trying to achieve perfection. However, all those reasons for fighting eventually lead to one thing: we are trying to protect what is important to us."

"…" Hitsugaya was speechless.

"It's true, isn't it?'' Ryu asked. "You're all depressed because you weren't able to protect Hinamori. I took the Academy with you; I know more about you than you think. I know it was time to return, when something like this happened."

"What's your point?"

Ryu smiled and said, "Don't beat yourself up for what happened to Hinamori. You tried, that's enough. Just improve yourself so that you won't fail next time."

"Who are you to lecture me!"

"Hey, I wandered around for years to come up with these answers. You could at least consider their meaning."

"You…"

"Enough, Hitsugaya-_taichou_. Four you sake, and Hinamori's, snap out of your depression. Good night."

With that, Ryu closed his eyes and held out his Soul Slayer.

"Take flight with darkened storms and rage across eternal darkness…_Bankai_…" Ryu whispered, almost chanting.

Immediately, winds blew around and around and black clouds spread across the sky, blocking out the moon. As the sky grew dark and Hitsugaya's vision slowly turned black, Ryu glanced at him, grinning and waved good-bye.

"Hope is on the way…" he whispered.

Then, Hitsugaya saw and heard no more.

---

Hitsugaya's eyes snapped awake as he heard voices calling him.

"_Taichou_? It's time to wake-up," he heard Matsumoto cry out.

"I'll be right there," Hitsugaya shouted out, getting up and flinging on his uniform.

He opened the door and walked out to meet his Lieutenant.

"What's the matter, _Taichou_?" Matsumoto asked. "It's not like you to oversleep. It's usually you that wakes me up."

"Ah…sorry, Matsumoto," he answered. "I must be overly tired or something…"

"Well, shake it off because I have some good news," Matsumoto exclaimed.

Hitsugaya raised his eyebrow and asked, "What's happening?"

"Hinamori woke-up!"

Hitsugaya's eyes widened and then, he suddenly remembered some words: _Hope is on the way…_As he rushed with Matsumoto to the Fourth Squad's headquarters, he wondered if last night's occurrences, Ryu's return and their fight…were that all a dream?

---

Ryu smiled as he gazed from afar at Hitsugaya rushing with his Lieutenant over to the Fourth Squad. He raised his eyebrow at the sight at his Lieutenant, as she gleefully rang along, a complete opposite to Hitsugaya. Then again, if the Eleventh Squad Captain had a little pink-haired girl as a Lieutenant of the battle specialist Squad, this should not be too strange. Ryu closed his eyes and walked around, disappearing from Soul Society again, his arrival going largely unnoticed but not without him causing some changes to the _Shinigami_.


End file.
